Friday, 30 November 2012

London Westminster To Croydon Middlesborough And ... Totnes?

London Politics Is Even More Fun When It Starts To Rankle The Conservatives In The Regions - Thanks Nigel - We're Making Plans For You In Totnes!

Dear Mr Farage, please could you fix it for us to invite you to Totnes? We want you to turn 'Foster' to 'Costa.' You looked so fetching, marching about the count last night in your greatcoat and winding up the Tories - we'd like you to do an encore in Totnes where you have a far greater chance of even winning the seat from the Tories!

After all, we only want what's best for Nigel and even if we don't want UKIP, anything's better than the Tories so here's the cunning plan from London Croydon to Totnes;

First you make out like you were behind the successful Anti-Costa coffee shop campaign in Totnes (find a disgruntled Tory 'UKIP considerer' who agitated successfully in the campaign) then invent/beef up a local Totnes story around the issue, stomp about a bit in your greatcoat and invite the press! Hopefully  the Conservative vote will splinter and you might even win! Make a massive fuss about train fares/times too and be filmed travelling down from London  in a a Virgin Cross Country Train in your greatcoat complaining about the West Coast Mainline omnishambles.But if you're going First Class then make sure to hide when the guard comes along! either that or have a mate (er sorry an 'aide') take a pic of you poring over your supporters problems on your laptop ready to post on Twitter. Job Done! And it was fun! Your first seat at London Westminster!